RCCG YAYA Sunday School Teacher Manual For February 12, 2023 Lesson 24: Topic — Handling Crushes

By | February 12, 2023

RCCG YAYA Sunday School Teacher Manual For February 12, 2023 Lesson 24: Topic — Handling Crushes

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TOPIC: Handling Crushes

OPENING PRAYER: Father, please teach me how to handle crushes in Jesus name.

MEMORY VERSE: “Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul;” – 1 Peter 2:11 (NKJV)‬

BIBLE PASSAGE: 2 Samuel 13:1-15 (NKJV)‬

1 And it came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her.

2 And Amnon was so vexed, that he fell sick for his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin; and Amnon thought it hard for him to do anything to her.

3 But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David’s brother: and Jonadab was a very subtil man.

4 And he said unto him, Why art thou, being the king’s son, lean from day to day? wilt thou not tell me? And Amnon said unto him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.

5 And Jonadab said unto him, Lay thee down on thy bed, and make thyself sick: and when thy father cometh to see thee, say unto him, I pray thee, let my sister Tamar come, and give me meat, and dress the meat in my sight, that I may see it, and eat it at her hand.

6 So Amnon lay down, and made himself sick: and when the king was come to see him, Amnon said unto the king, I pray thee, let Tamar my sister come, and make me a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat at her hand.

7 Then David sent home to Tamar, saying, Go now to thy brother Amnon’s house, and dress him meat.

8 So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house; and he was laid down. And she took flour, and kneaded it, and made cakes in his sight, and did bake the cakes.

9 And she took a pan, and poured them out before him; but he refused to eat. And Amnon said, Have out all men from me. And they went out every man from him.

10 And Amnon said unto Tamar, Bring the meat into the chamber, that I may eat of thine hand. And Tamar took the cakes which she had made, and brought them into the chamber to Amnon her brother.

11 And when she had brought them unto him to eat, he took hold of her, and said unto her, Come lie with me, my sister.

12 And she answered him, Nay, my brother, do not force me; for no such thing ought to be done in Israel: do not thou this folly.

13 And I, whither shall I cause my shame to go? and as for thee, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, I pray thee, speak unto the king; for he will not withhold me from thee.

14 Howbeit he would not hearken unto her voice: but, being stronger than she, forced her, and lay with her.

15 Then Amnon hated her exceedingly; so that the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her. And Amnon said unto her, Arise, be gone.

Also Read:
– RCCG Sunday School Teacher Manual 12 February 2023: The Fruit Of The Holy Spirit II

INTRODUCTION: To ‘crush on someone’ is to have a feeling of romantic love for that person, especially someone you have not met physically or have any relationship with. Furthermore, the way someone smells, laughs, or smiles can play role in creating a crush while the feelings accompanying a crush can be overpowering. Crushing on someone is synonymous with ‘infatuation’ (an obsessive focus on the opposite gender). This study will attempt to distinguish between crushes and real love as well as proffer a way to handle this feeling.


A. The above scripture is the story of how Amnon, David’s son defiled Tamar, his half-sister, because of untamed lustful desire:

i. At a time Amnon fell deeply in love (obsessed) with Absalom’s beautiful sister Tamar such that he became ill and because she was a virgin assaulting her sexually seemed so difficult, V1-2.

ii. Jonadab, Amnon’s friend – a cunning person, upon enquiry on the leanness of the king’s son, counselled him to pretend to be sick and ask his father to send Tamar, his half-sister to prepare his meal, V3-5.

iii. Amnon pretended to be sick as counselled, made the request and the king asked Tamar to go to his house and prepare his half-brother’s meal, V6-7.

iv. Having prepared the meal, she served him, but Amnon refused to eat and have all men in the house ordered out and asked Tamar to bring the meal into his chamber, V8-10.

v. ……………………………………………………V11.

vi ……………………………………………..V12.

vii …………………………………..…………….V13.

viii ……………………………………………..V14.

ix. He then hated her more than the love he earlier had for her and he sent her away, V15.


The Question and Answer Methods.




Question: The Teacher should ask the students what they understand by the word ‘crush’ and real love?

Answer 1:

i. Crush may begin just the same way love does, but love goes beyond physical and emotional attractions to a point of sacrificial actions (1Cor.13:4-9).

ii. If you observe that you are only attracted to a person because of the person’s external beauty or friendliness, you are just crushing.

iii. You also need to know that whenever you discover that your thoughts toward a particular person are predominated by sexual fantasies, coupled with lustful thoughts, then, you might merely be crushing rather than loving. This should not be entertained beyond the first fleeting thought.

Answer 2:

i. Love is driven by commitment and patience while crush is driven by emotions, impatience, and satisfaction with one’s selfish desires.

ii. Love seeks to serve the other person and does what is best for them (1Cor.13:4-7) while crush causes you to act foolishly, not caring about anyone but yourself and demanding fulfilment of your wants.

iii. Love is a fruit of the Spirit (Gal.5:22) while crush can be the spark that ignites sinful thoughts, such as lust.

iv. Love never fails but crush does (1Cor.13:8).

CLASS ACTIVITY 1: Students should distinguish between crush and real love


Crushes are natural emotional tendencies that can degenerate to sin if not properly managed. If you find yourself thinking day and night about one person, you may have crossed the line from a normal liking to an unhealthy obsession.

How can we handle crushes?

A. Seeking intimate times of fellowship with God can help keep that crush in perspective:

i. You start by being honest with the Lord about your feelings, like the Psalmists (Ps.38:9; 139:23).

ii. Ask Him to help you keep your thoughts pure and your actions pleasing to Him (Ps.19:14).

iii. Ask God for wisdom to handle this difficult situation (Jam.1:5).

B. In addition, it is important for you to realise that lust is a bad substitute for love (2Sam. 13:15):

i. Do not follow your lustful emotion (Rom.6:12).

ii. Refuse to fuel your lust, walk in the Spirit (Gal.5:25).

C. Confess the word of God to rid your heart of filth (Jn.17:17).

D. If you are a married person and you are attracted to another person, take time to build what you like in that person in your spouse.

E. Above all, it is very important to seek wise and godly counsel.

CLASS ACTIVITY 2: The Class should mention other practical steps to handling crushes.

CONCLUSION: Do not run your life by feelings (Col.3:5), life decisions should be made through the guidance of the Holy Spirit and godly counsel (Prov.24:6).

EVALUATION: What should believers do to crush crushes?

CLOSING PRAYER: What should believers do to crush crushes?

ASSIGNMENT: Mention five things you will do to overcome lustful desires (2×5=10 marks).


  1. O Sunday School, on the Lord’s day,
    O how I love Thee well,
    I am happy, it makes me glad
    To rejoice at Thy birth.
  2. O Sunday School, on the Lord’s day,
    Thy friend friendship suits me well,
    Both young and will sing Thy song,
    We long for Sunday School.
  3. O Sunday School, on the Lord’s day,
    Christ was Thy first teacher,
    The Holy Spirit, great teacher,
    Does manifest in thee.
  4. O Sunday School, on the Lord’s day,
    This testimony is sure,
    That God, the Father Almighty,
    Poured His blessing on Thee
  5. O Sunday School, on the Lord’s day,
    Though the sun be so bright,
    Or if the clouds be black with rain,
    I’ll be in Sunday School.
  6. O Sunday School, on the Lord’s day
    I rejoice to see Thee,
    Will thou pass over me today?
    Without my being blest?

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